I’ve recently graduated from College almost a year ago, with little experience I struggle to get out in the world. I’ve recently realized that I cannot sit at a desk staring at a computer, for very long. I fallen into the culinary world which excites my soul but it doesn’t complete it. Everyday I go home and stare at the art supplies I surround myself with, wishing I could just create something. I want to do hands on art, but what?! I feel that I lack in skill along with confidence and with no one to push me for greatness. I somehow have to push myself which is a lot harder than people have always seem to play off. Even myself, I’m a great deal to blame, pushing people around me for greatness, forgetting to take my own advice first. Now I’m at that point in life where, it’s just me, myself and I. I have co-worker friends, but none I really see outside of work, no man in my life for I “want to find myself” and managed to push away the most important people in my life. But how do I do this alone? Where do I begin? With suffering from depression and anxiety from my history’s past, my motivation, confidence and determination is hindered and my mind is clouded with overthinking situations that have nothing to do with me. Somedays it’s hard to even open up my computer or pick up a marker. But wallowing never got anyone anywhere in life.
Slowly I’ve been trying to change, but it still is not enough. So today I want to make a change in my willingness too “change”. My goals in life are to improve my typography, painting, wood burning skills as well as finally picking up my guitar I’ve had for 15 years and actually trying to learn how to play it. I have the lifestyle I’ve always wanted to live almost down pat as far as eating habits and exercising, and hey my life long goal of switching from coffee to tea has finally happened! but now to come full circle with my inner soul of arts and crafts.
My plan is to update as much as possible my journey of these new “skill sets” I would love to acquire. And where to go from there, I just don’t know. I guess as I further myself in skill, only time can tell.
College always steered us away from mixing our art work with our personal lives, like this blog being bluntly honest with my struggles, but that’s not who I am. I’m an honest person and this is me.