Last year 2020,
August 20th -28th
After spending what was the worst few years of my life alone, I decided to go on a solo trip. Well honestly I went on a few dating sites a few months prior to see if I could find someone who would like to go with me. After a few lousy dates I decided that being alone was probably best anyways. After all yourself is the only true key to happiness. My plan was to backpack the porcupine mountains. I bought my backpack and a few other things, like a light weight sleeping bag, and lightweight one person tent, but I still was not ready. So I decided to camp Pictured Rocks instead. When I started my trip I stayed with some family for two nights at their cottage on Hess Lake in Grant, MI. They had a Camper that I stayed in, since all the rooms in the tiny cottage home were taken by them. I got to know relatives I have never met. Although it was weird, oddly enough I really enjoyed their company. They let me borrow their water ski’s which, as a first time rider, I was scared. Thinking it was a lot like the motorcycle that I just could never nail down or go past 50mph, I kind of freaked. But as I gave that sucker gas and moved along, I realized it was easier than a motorcycle and much more fun. After doing figure 8’s and nose dipping; I parked, float and swam for a few minutes. Only to get up and do it over. I called my two siblings Donnovan and Tarryn. They came out and joined in on the fun. There was a block party which was next door on the last night I was there. The food; even tho I am vegetarian, was on point. My Siblings did not stay the night but rather only hung out for about 6 hours. we kayaked, drank, sat by the fire. Talked about stuff in secret, talked about stuff together. Rode the skis. For only a few days out there, and only a few hours with family, I had the time of my life.
I woke up Early Saturday morning, off to the Upper Peninsula. No reservations made. But as someone who had always just pulled into campsites, well my luck was I would end up picking the campgrounds that has at least 10 no-reservation sites, so I never had any issues. So I didn’t think twice about not getting a spot.
I shared my location with both my mother and father as I drove up there, but a few hours short of the Bridge I had lost service. And what I didn’t know was, I was going to be without cell service until the day I left. 4 days....later.
Side note* Each day I made a video log with every intention of starting a TikTok and making travel vlogs but I have not gained the confidence in releasing those. So since I enjoy writing, I think I’ll stick to this.
After driving over the bridge; which was amazing by the way and scary, I Followed a road that pretty much lead me straight for Munising. Even tho I didn’t have service, following the Blue dot on my google maps was fairly simple. I went to quite a few campgrounds; of course I started with the ones right on the lake, and there was nothing available. I found myself in Haiwthawa National Forest about 12 minutes outside of Munising. The campground was called Wide Waters Campground. I was nervous when I first pulled in. I parked next to the sign, and I don’t know, I must have stared at it for at least 10 minutes. By this point, I’ve been driving for close to 8 hours, I was tired, hungry and well just fucking tired. I only stopped for gas twice, only stopped for the bathroom once. I really needed assistance to tell me what the fuck I was doing. Sure enough the park ranger pulled in behind me. Explained to me what I needed to do. But I took it as I didn’t have to pay right away, why? Because I half listen. Me A.D.D wanders when I need to be focused the most. So I picked my spot. Right on the water’s edge of Fish Lake. I set up camp and I took a nap. It was only 30 minutes in when I heard a car door shut and footsteps walking my way. “Ma’am? Ma’am?!” I unzipped my tent...I looked at him half dead and half awake and startled. “ I didn’t get your money, you need to pay if you’re going to stay here.” “Oh Shit! You need it now, oh my God, I’ll find an ATM, I’m so Sorry, I’m so tired, I’ll be right back” I scurried away and drove what felt like another 20 or more minutes, on the verge of a breakdown because it’s now past five, things are closed and I have no idea where I am to go find an ATM. The park store that was nearby was closed. I drove and drove and drove. My mind just froze. I came up near a main road, one I would all soon be familiar with and there on my right was a huge gas station. Thank fucking heavens a Gas station with an ATM sign. This gas station was actually only 8 or so minutes, 12 max but hell did it feel like forever. I pulled in and went straight for the ATM pulled out 80 bucks. $20 a night. 4 nights. I browsed around the store, do I need anything else? Fuck it, let’s go. So I got back in my car and drove back. I pulled back up to that box, tore off the paper work and pulled back into my site, which happened to be right across from the pay station. I started to fill out the minor important information. Then I got to...How many nights...I froze. Then wrote in the number. I started to cry. Maybe I can do night to night? I don’t remember?!? Why can’t I remember what he told me?! Why is putting $80 in an envelope so fucking hard? Where else is there to go? Everything is booked! To know this was going to be my spot for the next four nights, in the middle of nowhere, only a vault toilet...I’m used to bathrooms when I camp, Sent me into total panic. This...This is nothing?! Oh the panic. Oh the tears. I filled it out, tore off what needed to be attached to my post and put it there. Walked over to the pay post and dropped my envelope into the pole. It was dreadful as my money slipped from my finger-tips. This is it. This is where I must stay. I cannot change my mind. Oh was this a test of everything about me! Every flaw, every fear. It was all being challenged now. I did eventually get set up more. Had food. But not much more to that, before I called it a night.
When I woke the next morning, I decided to hit that gas station for coffee. My breakfast was granola bars, trail mix and peanut cliff bars. I remember my friend telling me he traveled all the way cross country with just eating trail mix, well I could do it too! My lunches were tuna wraps. Which now, I could pass on eating if it was in front of me. I had my fair share of tuna. What I did the first day was waterfalls. which turned into only 3 or 4. I followed the signs around town to get to places. Munising was under road construction, most things were closed due to covid and my GPS cell service was nill. So road signs. That was my map. I pulled off to the side of the road for scenic turnouts. I drove miles just to find out I missed my turn. Many dead-ends and many hours wasted driving, but I was finally at terms with the campsite so I was okay. I was doing okay.
I enjoyed the beach where I watched the Kayaking tours take off. I loved the 4 or 6 mile hike to Chapel Rock where I dove into the water after my arrival. The water was bitter cold but I was sweating. I got out and got dressed and hung out along the shoreline struggling to warm up. Soon the rain pulled in and so did the clouds. It was getting dark and close to dinner so I decided to make my way back to camp. After all it was almost a little over an hour or so of a hike.
I kayaked Fish lake from the public launch. Which scared the living hell out of me. It had an overwhelming beauty, it was daunting. So peaceful my soul couldn’t breathe. It was so breathtaking with water where I could see straight to the bottom. As a novice Kayaker, and being on a body of water so large for the first time, alone which no tourists, I was terrified. What if my Kayak sank? What if I tip? This was the first real body of water I was on. You can bet, I didn’t go far, or like at all. I got out and put my kayak in at the lake later that day from where I was camped. It was more river like until you kayaked up the body into where the launch are was. If you saw what the lake looked like on the map, you could understand what I mean. When I was out there that evening from the campsite, there was one other Kayaker at that point, coming from the other direction so it helped cool my nerves.
I also Kayaked Island Lake, but still new at this whole kayaking thing and having no one around to save me if something happened I was still extremely nervous. But I pushed myself through. I needed to brave through this. I looked behind me and saw the mini water wake my kayak makes as you paddle in the water along with all it’s bubbling noise. My teeth clenched and I swallowed my spit hard because I had no idea if this was a normally function of a Kayak. Am I starting to sink? I started to paddle back towards the shore and stayed close to the shoreline until I was done kayaking.
I kayaked Pete’s lake. Just as beautiful but it had a few boaters on the water. So The fear slipped a little thinner that time. From the Fear of Fish lake and Island Lake, by now I was a little bit more used to my Kayak and less scared. But seeing those people swimming and boating around me helped a ton.
Kayaking the wild waters of the Haiwathawa National Forest really helped over come my fear of the deep, wilderness lakes. And the more I Kayak the more daring and brave I become.
There was a time where I needed a shower and bad! So I went over to the Fish Lake launch where the water was cleaner and away from the campsites I was near and bathed in my suit. It was unusual and weird and out of my comfort zone but it needed to be done.
I wanted to kayak Au Train River and Au Train Lake. There were a couple River entry points I didn’t get on to try because I was uncomfortable with the parking and having to carry my Kayak over to the shoreline from gravel roads. I still was unsure about how to handle or maneuver the kayak. And not having a GPS to guide me to more public boat launches if there were any, didn’t help. But I did find myself at a breathtaking Roadside park of Scott Falls. I never actually saw the Falls. I didn’t explore a lot of the area like I should have. I tried to view more of the area on my GPS but nothing was loading. I stayed towards the right area of the roadside park and admired the water crashing against the large rocks and shoreline. It brought me much peace to just sit there and listen to the waves.
I made it out to Kitch-iti-kipi. It was pretty but, I guess I expected a little more. It was a small area and even though I arrived there early one morning upon opening and it was packed. I saw that Kitch-iti-kipi was on Indian Lake. I wanted to Kayak this large massive beauty but I found no where onto the lake using road signs. One of the places was Sunset beach which lead me down a weird single road in the woods up to, two make shift trailers that people were actually living in. It was scary! I turned around as fast as I could, seeing the half dressed people coming out. Probably confused why I was on their private land. That was enough of that! No more Indian Lake. I tried. I really did.
I then traveled to Manistique, and by this time it is raining. I drove through the town but it looked dirty and ghostly. I’m pretty sure it was the weather and still not having GPS to help guide me to more prominent areas, I may have misjudged. But I went to Lakeview Park and it was rocky and dirty. I walked the boardwalk and decided I was done here. That is when I drove all the way back up to Chapel Beach where I managed to see Mosquito Falls and Chapel beach all in one afternoon-evening. I don’t mess around when I am looking for things to do, not to mention I am usually up and on the road by 6:30am. So when I did arrive over by Chapel trails it was going on Noon and I didn’t get back to camp till almost 7:30 that night.
There was so much more I wish I could see or do, but I never brought an itinerary. I am not much of a planner. I am always a wing it, kind of person. But this time, I wish I did plan. I wish I knew where things were and what there was to do. But now, a year later our cell service upgraded and was bought out by T-mobile so I probably would have better service this time. Or maybe not. There is much for me to see and travel in the Upper Peninsula and I hope to go up there a few more times. My dream is to one day Backpack the Porcupine Mountains on the 4 day trail loop and overlook the Lake of the Clouds. I’ve thought about just camping up there, but I really want to backpack it. I just haven’t figured out how, and what would I all need, and when will I be brave enough to do it. So that is my ultimate goal.
Back to my vacation, I realized that I enjoy reading a lot when I am on vacation and it’s actually probably the only time I can allow my mind to rest to the state where I can just sit and read for hours on end. Being alone for so long, it can mentally taxing, I had a couple frustrations that led to breakdowns because I got lost or didn’t know what the hell to do or where to go. The town was 80% closed due to covid. I was beyond frustrations. But I also found myself. I found a peace of mind and a tranquility of independence that I’ve been searching for. I found ways to accept and move past on issues I was struggling with. I finally was able to feel like myself for the first time in a very, very long time. When I came back home, I was assertive, calm, and had my head finally in the right place again. I was finally healed completely from my inner demons. All the depression and anxieties leveled out. I was balanced. I was ME.
On my way home it was storming and you could see the lighting a few miles from the bridge. Eventually I made my way through Petoskey and you could see the storm off in a distance and the city I arrived in was warm and the sun was out. I drove on the out skits of the city and I felt it looked absolutely amazing! I saw the Petoskey State Park Beach sign and said, I am going! No one was at the beach yet, which was beautiful in every way. The waves were strong and fierce as if the storm had just passed, and you could see off in the distance the storm. Magnificent views. I wasted no time and dove in and swam and collected Petoskey stones. I never wanted to leave. This city moved up to my favorite places, next in line to Ludington and I had to come back to explore the town and beaches more!
This was a challenging yet beautiful experience of a life time. Solo traveling has become a part of me.
