So I have always had trouble talking about myself and answering questions like,
”why do you love art?”
”Where do you get your inspiration from”
”What drives you and what part do you love most?”
Why this and why that, and I have never been able to answer anything with real clarification. First of all why do I have to answer? Why does it matter and does it have to be about me? I have never put much thought about myself up for question. Always put other people first leaving myself in the dust…stuck with questions I can’t answer. So I’ve just said the first thing that came to mind, lie or not, because I honestly don’t know. Well didn’t know. I have been doing a lot of thinking about where I’m headed in life and where I want to see myself in 5-10 years. (Finally!!)
I try to cancel out thoughts of anything that comes to mind, that are things or people that shouldn’t be effecting my decisions. If that makes sense. Like example, I hope to own a cottage with my sister in the future. When it should be, I hope to have a rental cottage in the mountains or travel to South America for hiking one day. The minor details shouldn’t matter since our lives are always changing. You need to have a base goal for you and everything else, who else can fall in-between.
Along with thinking of myself, I’ve been thinking heavily on the arts!!
”What does drive me to create? How do I become inspired really?”
Have I honestly never put any of this into consideration of my thoughts ever in my life?
I have recently discovered that I cannot sit at a computer for very long. Okay so Why? I thought you loved graphic design…? Isn’t design all about sitting at a computer? We live in a digital world now, hello!!
Well folks! I have answers! I have explanations. I’m slowly now figuring it all out.
It’s not the sitting at the computer all day that drives me mad with boredom, it’s creating without feeling inspired that drives me mad and bored. I’ve had two design jobs. One I loved and one I hated. The one I loved was a freelance position, where I designed for schools. They were elementary based design work because well I was designing for elementary schools and they were positive behavior posters. I also edited any school photos that needed it. Making them yearbook worthy! I even got to travel along West Michigan and worked along side with the photographers being apart of school sporting events and graduations. I loved every second. So when I sat down at my computer, I was able to sit there all day or all night and design for these schools, because I had passion for these schools. I met with the principles, teachers and met some of the students. I was driven by connection and emotion and the will to help promote healthy school environments. I soon had to leave the job because it did not fit my schedule for I needed to devote my every second of design toward my senior year of college.
I then worked at another place after my graduation. It was a car decal place. I sat at a computer designing for 8 hours, lines and circles and choosing colors for vehicles and working with clients that were very hard to communicate with. Although this company is a thriving successful company, I worked too fast and would get extremely bored. I have no idea how anyone person can work on Lines for a car for 6 hours of their day. Or one design for that matter. I thought that this job was going to be enjoyable and I was highly mistaken, for my taste at least. So I went into this phase, maybe the graphic design field was the wrong field because at this point I’m thriving in working in the kitchen ( I left the kitchen for this car place and went back after a few months). I did say cooking was another passion of mine. So I turned my head to the 4 years of art I went to school for and I was ready to give it all up. But why? Am I really going to become a chef with no education? Am I really going anywhere in life making this decision? Am I really going to give up everything I worked hard for, for a job I fell comfortable with? Thank goodness for a friend of mine who is always pushing me to think of myself. I came to the realization that I can have the best of both worlds. Cooking and arts.
So after some extreme thoughts the past few weeks, I’ve realized that yeah I love designing, but I don’t want to be constricted to an office where I lack inspiration and motivation. I’ve realized that music and going for a run, inspires me when I’m having a creative block. Getting up and walking around and being away from the computer is good for me when I don’t want to design. Having that 9-5 office job is not for me because I can’t just get up and leave work at 11am to do what I need to do, to clear my head of this block, because I can’t figure out any creative design solutions for my clients. I also can’t force myself to just sit there and doodle until I come up with something until the hour strikes 5pm. That’s not how I work. It’s not that I don’t love designing it’s I need to design at my own tempo and have more feeling involved. *cough Freelancing!*
I have recently realized that walking around a Micheals, Hobby Lobby or even a Menards is like walking around in a live version of Pinterest for me. I can spend hours walking up and down the aisle and not buy a single thing, but come out with a mind full of everything!
I think best in the shower.
I categorize and design on my runs.
I create mood boards when I’m walking around in my own live version of Pinterest.
That’s what motivates and intrigues me. I can be distracted on one project for just about the entire day! I am driven by emotion and connection. As well as hands on art work. People and objects inspire me. Moving around and keeping my hands busier than my head is when I do my best work. I thrive when I work at my own pace, so that’s why I think I should stop looking for a permeant “office” based job in design and rather try to be apart of the freelance world. This allows me to' connect and draw personal emotion in the designs. It’s where I find myself most happy, knowing that while I’m creating, I’m making an impact and physically being apart of that impact. And the only way to achieve freelancing is to keep practicing my skills because I have a long way to go from here. It’s a competitive world out there and I’m full on ready to take on this challenge.
I want to engage and communicate and thrive with colors and fonts that speak deep messages with meaning.
I think I’m slowly getting it…