We’ve all heard the phrase “ A cup of coffee with your best friend is all the therapy we need sometimes…” Well, all though that is the case; talking really does help cope with the day to day lives of the chaos we dive ourselves into. But what if that wasn’t possible? What if for whatever reason, your best friend or the one you confide in, is MIA. What do you do? A chaotic brain such as mine could bottle up a lot of pain, up until recently; few years ago due to series of life events. So where does the exploration of the negatives and positives wither and die so there is growth?
For me, knowing that I went from compartmentalizing for half my life (hiding) to expressing, isn’t such a bad thing. Yeah I’m now called “emotional”. But for the first time ever, I’m embracing it. Why? Because it’s who I am. I need to feel, see, hear, sense the world around me because without embracing my emotions and feelings, I can’t create. I’m not me. I’m nothing if I don’t lead with my emotions first. So, when I get to that point where there is more in my head than I can handle, since I don’t have that “Best Friend” that I’m able or willing to open up to, I journal.
Journaling scratches off the loose ends of what’s buzzing in my brain. Like dead skin. These emotions or feelings have no purpose. They’re mainly there because they were created and put there. Therefore there was never any life to them. Dead skin. Once that’s removed, the real issue that needs a good discussion sits and waits to be picked, like a flower trying to bloom from it weeds. So next I shower. Long hot showers to drain out all the negatives.
Humans are tribal creatures, we thrive on connection and emotion and belonging which is the third tier on Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. When you’re a thriving independent, you’re only going to take what you need to survive and try and figure out the rest on your own. Only to reach back for a hand when necessary. So because I’m purposely a loner, for the soul purpose that I want to be mentally and emotionally strong as I can alone before I take on any other “Adventures” in my life, I have to find ways to avoid confiding or opening up to that “Best Friend” most of us all have. Step one: Journal. Step two: Drain the negatives. Step three: Grow the positives that are left. That’s generally when I go for a run, paint, draw, create mood boards, express myself on here, etc.
When there is nothing but the positives left, you can take that and create the most beautiful forms of art. Even if your art work contains darkness, it’s still beautiful because it’s a part of you. I’m a spiritual person and I’m very in touch with my soul and the levels of energy that travel alongside me. Sometimes, I catch drift of others energies and I’m able to feed off of it.
If you really think about it, art comes from us, we create art from our senes and life experiences. So when we create, we are either telling someone else’s story or we are telling our own. Art is what we feel and go through everyday because art is an expression of self, and emotions and feeling. It’s how we are able to portray our feelings to communicate to others around us, in order to make an impact, to warn us or just please the eye to the beauty expressed.
I one day want to be able to embed my emotions into my artwork and impact and inspire the world around me or even just a small community! I want to help others get in touch with their soul and tell them not to be afraid to hide. Express yourself. Tell your story. Show me how you see the world and share it. Because in the end, it all ends well. There is beauty in death even, because, “To live is to experience a form of war. For love cannot exist unless death and war unite. Thus is when the fields of the unknown have become filled with ashes and grey muck of the corpses. Only then can beauty grow and love can obtain substance. For one cannot simply exist without the other. “-ME
In this path that I have chosen for myself, and have fallen off track at least 3x times! I foresee at least 2-3 major hardships. I also foresee that this journey that I am taking, one that I try and tell myself is only a 2 year journey is actually a 3-5 year journey. I know that at the end of this path, (if I stick with it & have patience) through all the major hardships I am about to endure throughout the next 3-5 years, will be very rewarding. I sense a huge amount of positive energy, followed with joy and adventure and just the most beautiful essence of life that can be only be felt. And because I can feel/sense, what the end of this path holds, very well knowing that I am going to fall to the bottom of the pit a few more times, it keeps me going. And what I’m going to do is create, create and create. I’m going to find my voice through this dark path of the unknown and I hope to inspire and lead on this journey. Having that 6th sense really helps push through the tough days, it helps tell me…”it’s all in my head” so remove the dead skin, drain negatives and grow the beauty that is held within. Be you. Find your voice and guide.